hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
