Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize