what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
