she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize