You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize