the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Randomize
