Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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