I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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