I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
