the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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