the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
