Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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