He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
i've created a new STD.
We need a shit load of segways right now
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
