well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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