I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
