whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
