I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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