To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I hate all girls vehemently.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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