Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
