you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
