this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
