I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
