I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
