This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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