My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
