You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
