I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Watching her eat just hurts me
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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