I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
