I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
