I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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