Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
