remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
