so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
