We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize