she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
