We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
