I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
