the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
