Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
