gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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