You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
