College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I'm really busy with my period
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