The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize