It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
