brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
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