filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
