I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
