Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
