I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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