he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
This is the high leading the old right now
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
