there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Randomize
