I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
