i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize