so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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