how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
