also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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