Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
