I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
