There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
