Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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