this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I can't trust your balls anymore.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
