you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
