yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
