the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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