we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Randomize
