u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
