You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
